Question: My husband and I have a 30 year old, good marriage in most aspects.But one area has needled me from the first days of our marriage. It doesn’t matter where we go…to a restaurant, the airport, church, you name it, if there is a young/pretty lady present, my husbands eyes will repeatedly look at her as long as she is present.I would think that a good marriage would reflect the opposite.
If he refuses to stop, you might choose to leave the social event, even if you have to call UBER to get home.
Second, if he chooses not to change his behaviors, you can set a boundary.
Our POD will be delivered on Saturday and then the fun/work begins. Inside we let things accumulate – old hurts, resentments, anger that has never been resolved, lies that we haven’t identified or challenged, habits that block our future growth, and character traits that are unbecoming to the person we want to be.
Moving gives you a reason to throw out a whole lot of unnecessary stuff, but I suspect that we will discover a lot more stuff that still needs to be tossed, gifted, or sold once we try to get settled in our new home. We’re caught in today’s busyness and seldom take time to stop and reflect, to sort and sift through what is no longer useful so we can let it go.
I haven’t shared this with anyone because I am embarrassed about my insecurity. You are not crazy and you are not uniquely insecure.
All women find it uncomfortable and disrespectful to see their husband admiring or staring at a beautiful woman, especially after she has told him that it bothers her when he does it. Probably most women notice beautiful women and men also. However, men who respect and value their relationship with their wives, do not keep looking, they purposefully turn away, even if they do notice. I’m curious about what you said in your first paragraph.Some of the things I didn’t let go of are good things, but I suspect I will discover that many of them are unnecessary for me to keep any longer in this new home. In the next few months, I will have more to say on sifting and sorting and letting go.Moving has been a metaphor for me to travel a little lighter, both in my outer life and in my inner life.Or is it speak up, set boundaries and hope that through those actions and consequences, your husband may come to respect and value you as the helpmate God gave him? They do this so big time it’s a trademark of a sociopath.The choice of course, is always yours, but for your own mental health as well as your God given dignity, I’d encourage you to think about option #1. It might be that you speak up firmly when you observe him checking out other women.