I had a whole other vision for it after my ostomy surgery, but this person, right here, in a hospital room getting bad news? Until the person next to me, the person who responded to the news of my ostomy when we first met with a poop joke, responded with another poop joke. The kind that made me laugh so hard that all the ugly tears shook off my face. I can’t be certain I’d have made it through the last few months had they happened to me a year ago when I was already down and struggling. I’ve had an ex who was (and still is) really supportive and caring, and one who made me cry and feel worthless in a hospital room.
By Tricia Hottenstein I recently shared an article about a little boy who was bullied so badly that after twenty-six surgeries, he decided to take his own life. I read it with tears rolling down my face, my heart hurting for his loved ones and my soul hurting for the things he must have felt.
I read it after spending a long weekend in the hospital and after undergoing three of four surgeries in just two months.
I have spent more than half of my life with this disease, and surgery went so well that I thought the rest of my life would be smooth sailing.
I was finally meeting people who had never known me as sick. I remember several years ago when a family member introduced me as “the sick one.” It was intended to be harmless. The frustration when that all came crashing down was audible.
The embarrassment and disrespect was the exact reason why I decided to mention my stoma the very first time I met my boyfriend.
I had since decided that anyone who was less than understanding would be an immediate no. ” The words hung in the air before we both laughed.
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I started to prepare myself again for the life full of battles, ready to sink back to that person who laid in the fetal position on the sofa, unable to eat or move or laugh from deep within my belly.
I just kept thinking, over and over, that this is my life. I’ll feel healthy, I’ll laugh, and I’ll enjoy the smooth sailing.
The reality is, most of the time I didn’t even have time to process things before he was reassuring me I’d be okay and distracting me with nonstop laughter.