Before said BF and I decided to give it a serious try, last January I had joined Zoosk, as had turned out to be such a horror show especially for those of us over sixty. By the time I joined Zoosk, I’d had plenty of experience online.
While Zoosk is no different from any other site in that it has its share of scammers and manufactured profiles, unlike Fitness Singles it has a great many more folks participating. For those of us in middle age or trending towards a bit older (I was 64 at the time), this process can be daunting.
Dating middle aged divorced men
First, someone’s previous failed relationships are very poor fodder for an initial conversation.
Second, calling them a “f —g whore” gives me a very clear view of how this guy operates.
If we’re not willing to learn from those mistakes and then we spend all our time blaming the other person, then we’re not good relationship material. He’s as angry as Krakatoa, and whether or not that’s justified is none of my business. It can be distracting, but we will destroy that new connection quickly if we haven’t sorted out what we did wrong the last time (and every time, if this is a recurring theme.)My big brother, who died at 62, spent his entire life going through one failed relationship after another.
I ended the conversation politely and then blocked his profile. The problem is that if we expect to start over, then a house cleaning is in order. There’s no question that many of us have connections that are either very hard to break, or our history affects our ability to be vulnerable to someone new. The breakups were always and forever the woman’s fault.
All too often we have a self image steeped in fantasy, and are deeply disappointed in others’ rather frank reactions to our photos or the shape we’re in. On the other hand, there’s no reason whatsoever not to have hope.
With that in our backpacks, we launch online and start the daunting dating dance all over again.
Starting all over again means that we’ve effectively cleaned house and there’s room for something/someone new.
There isn’t some “perfect person” out there, some “soul mate” with whom everything will be blissful and easy.
Peter exuded that hangdog, sweet puppy charm that sucked savior-women in like a bee to a flower.