Is this just a guy you’re having fun with or do you plan on marrying him?A sleepover really allows the kids to get to know your boyfriend/girlfriend. My kids still beg me to ask my boyfriend to spend the night.So, if you are pretty sure you are ending up with him/her, it’s a good way to get a picture of how life is going to be. They love their dad a lot, but they see it as something fun and different, and they enjoy being around him. The person sleeping over can really bring something to the table, in other words, he or she can be a positive influence on your kids, and not take the place of their mom (or dad) but be another role model, support person for them in the future, which can be a lovely thing. The kids might begin to resent the guy/girl for taking their parent’s time and sharing their bed, especially if it’s early in the relationship. What kind of example are you setting if you have multiple men/women spend the night?
In closing, I think sleepovers are okay, if it’s the right person, the right timing, and if you handle it the right way.
Talking openly with your children and making them feel like they are part of the decision is such a nice idea. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling.
Children between the ages 5 and 10 were more possessive of their mother than older children.
Leah Klungness, co-author of The Complete Single Mother, states that post-divorce dating can be stressful for children.
One of the most complicated aspects of dating after divorce with kids is deciding when and how often your new guy (or girl) will be around your kids. In my opinion, the time after your divorce is a time in your life to be very unselfish in certain aspects and really focus on your kids.
Is it going to be one of those relationships that you keep separate from your kids and only get together when the kids are with your ex? ’ ‘Are they going to feel sad that the man in our home isn’t their dad? And that means being very thoughtful in deciding if sleepovers are right.
Parents need to make sure before things get tricky that children understand their continued importance to them, the freedom for the child(ren) to continue a close loving relationship with the ex-spouse (despite any personal misgivings) and the possibility of new people in the parent’s life.
Your attitudes and behaviors on dating will be a model for your children.
Ask yourself how many different men/women have slept over with your kids there in the past three years?
If it’s more than two, that’s really selfish (just being honest.) 3.
Here are some guidelines to consider concerning post-divorced dating and your children: Adjusting to the idea of dating isn’t just for parents. Constance Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family and professor emeritus at University Southern California, recently completed a 20 year longitudinal study on children of divorce.